What are Family Constellations?

Family Constellations offer an embodied method to explore any challenge from a new perspective. Our day-to-day, first-person point of view is limited by our beliefs and habitual ways of being, much of which we learned from our families. Constellations expand our perspective, giving us a glimpse of the greater system dynamics in which we exist. That change of view brings potent and sometimes life-changing insights to old puzzles and pain.

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Why do a Family Constellation?

Because many times, when you've tried everything else, this helps. Bring any story (or question, pain point, pattern, conflict, symptom) and it will be explored with curiosity and non-judgment to unfold a new potential.

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How do I know if a Constellations is relevant for me?

I generally say, if you have a family (regardless of quality or contact), a body (in any state of health), and a soul (or sense of consciousness), Family Constellations are relevant. 

 

Where did Family Constellations come from? 

Components of constellations arise simply from the experience of being human, and as such are ancient and global. Constellations as now known were co-developed in Germany by a community like ours – people eager to form a more functional society. As articulated by Hunter Beaumont and Bert Hellinger, Family Constellations are based on Hellinger’s Orders of Love (see below). The Orders of Love have been used around the world to explore even the most difficult situations facing humanity. Popular across Europe, Asia, and South America for decades, Constellations are just starting to become better known in the United States.

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What are the Orders of Love?

According to Bert Hellinger, the Orders of Love are: Belonging, Give and Take, and Social Order. Belonging drives us with a sense of urgency to participate in our family or social systems. Give and take is the striving most of us feel for balance and equilibrium in sharing and caring. Social Order helps us understand where we fit and how we impact one another. Essentially, what ails us (humans) generally comes down to one or more of the Orders being out or order. Constellations help this at the limbic level (aligned with our instincts, emotions, and unconscious memories and motivations).

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What happens at a Family Constellation?

At a Family Constellation workshop or private session with Many Ways, you can expect to be greeted with warmth, held with care, and supported with respect. We will have a conversation, followed by an embodied practice. My training is grounded in consent and trauma-informed collaborative approaches. I work at the pace of a regulated nervous system, which is much slower than modern life has us believe. At my workshops, I typically weave in teachings of systemic principles, poetry and music, tears and laughter. There's usually good food, and there's always great people. Like you. I've also written at length about what to expect on my Work with me / Constellation webpage. 

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What are the impacts of constellations? What changes?

My favorite answer about the impacts of constellations is from one of my teachers, Stephen Housner, who said, “When one person in the system has the courage to look at everything that happened, and to include everyone who belongs, then movement is possible for everyone in the system.”

• Individual level: At a minimum, constellations give new understandings and options for how to interpret and respond to life as it unfolds…

• Family level: …Yet constellations also seem to gently touch the whole system in a mysterious and wonderful way. It’s very common for things to move or emerge from people or situations that were stuck for a long time.

• Community level: Constellation workshops are moving and inspiring experiences. Participating as a witness or representative is often just as powerful as receiving a constellation. We tend to recognize ourselves, our families, and our friends in the work of others. Serving as a Representative for someone develops a depth of empathy for all human beings.

• Collective level: I believe that constellations are good for the soul of the world. I am excited to humbly, carefully, work at the live edge of collective constellations, because these turbulent, threshold times invite us to act from expanded ways of knowing, being, and doing.

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Constellations seem pretty “woo.” What if this is not for me?

Constellations might seem “woo”, but they’re mostly WOW. It’s true that in this process, we talk about things usually left unsaid, look at things typically avoided, and feel things often ignored or suppressed. This leads to a deeply moving, consequential experience that feels mysterious and changes lives…Which, let’s face it, is not a typical way to spend a day!

• So if this kind of atypical means woo, and that’s not you, pass on through.

• ....But if your curiosity is awakened, it’s OK to follow that, bringing your skepticism and discernment along with your questions and pain points. You might find out that constellations are not for you. Or you might find out they’re very darn helpful.

• Every single one of us is a descendant of people who found a way to make it, sometimes at great cost. And every single one of us is an ancestor-in-the-making, fallible yet finding our way. Beautiful beyond woo, all the way to wow.

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What are Systemic Constellations?

 All Constellations are systemic in that they look at whole systems. So when we say “systemic constellation” we mean any or all of the types described here: family, organizational, or collective. By way of practice and intent, Systemic Constellations are an embodied method shared to increase the flow of love within any given system. They can be done in private session, but the original form is community workshops. Constellations are the most efficient and effective method I’ve encountered for growing empathy, and capacity for new ways of knowing, being, and doing.

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Can Constellations be applied to Organizations?

Yes. Organizational Constellations apply Hellinger’s systemic principles to the workplace to ease conflict, support growth, and build cohesive teams.  It is rare to do a full embodied constellation in the workplace, as it takes special care and skill to not expose personal issues. Rather, one of the best ways to apply this at work is training leaders to utilize systemic principles and somatic phenomenology. Leaders with systemic training or who receive support from systemic executive coaching have significant advantages, particularly in threshold times of turbulence and emergence.

 

What are Collective Constellations?

Collective Constellations explore a shared story or collective question using somatic experience to surface, speak for, and represent elements of the larger system or greater whole. Collective constellations help us surface information and insights from the unconscious field. It’s an excellent way to grok insights beyond what we consciously know. For a long time it was believed that constellations could not be applied to collective questions. For this reason, globally, collective constellations are the front edge of emerging practice. I’ve pursued training and practice with collective constellations because I think that, done with care and skill, this is a promising mechanism for humanity to innovate at this threshold time.

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Can Systemic Constellations be applied to big world problems?

Yes, I’m keen to establish a Community of Applied Practice. I want to work with a group of visionary professionals interested in deepening this practice over time. Let’s iterate constellations and questions to inform a Collective Impact initiative for policy, system, and environmental change. This might be a new initiative, or it might be a way to powerfully augment an existing effort. If this is of interest to you, please email me.